FROM THE FIELD | Learning Unlearning: Carefully Unlearning

By: Val Killebrew | Mom, Artist, and Life-long Learner

Tip of the tongue

How many times have you said the phrase, “be careful!”? As a mother and teacher, I’ve said this phrase multiple times, daily. Often, I am not even conscious that I am saying it. The phrase is more reactionary, like an applause after a performance. In bringing my awareness to how and when I use this phrase, I found it being widely applied to almost any type of scenario: my toddler rushing down the stairs, “be careful here!”; a student enthusiastically opening a very full jar of paint, “be careful with that!”; teaching a technique that may potentially cause strain or overextension if done incorrectly, “be careful when you do this!”. 

In my own reflecting, I started to wonder if this phrase actually needed to be said. Is it valuable to the recipient? Is it bolstering their experience? Is it really helping them to mitigate risk, and is that actually what I want? I began reading in parenting groups and youth development articles about how children can become disengaged from the phrase as it is often used too frequently. Children and adults learning language may also confuse the meaning with the varying ways it’s applied. Using the phrase may also cause anxiety or fear, deterring any action that may be associated with risk- and in reality, don’t we want to promote healthy risk taking?

Experience of the learner

When we say “be careful”, the underlying hope is usually to illuminate a potential risk in hopes to help someone avoid injury, mess, failure or other seemingly negative outcomes, even when human development research attributes taking risks with resiliency. From my years as a teaching artist, I have found that creative experiences offer youth opportunity to stop being careful and instead take risks in a supported environment of learning. After all, isn’t that how we gained groundbreaking inventions and artistic masters?

So, what are we really wanting to communicate? 

Making the shift

In doing this “mesearch”, I concluded that often I am busy or multi-tasking and that has impeded my readiness to be more specific with my communication. This rush of activity can impede one’s appetite for taking a pause and reflecting on what we really want to say and instead default to habitual commands like, “be careful”. In reflecting on the myriad of ways I’ve used the phrase I’ve identified four intentions I actually mean to communicate:

  • Be calculated: take a moment to assess the situation and act with intention, informed by knowledge, experience and curiosity. This takes awareness, a skill that can be incorporated through daily practices to build social emotional learning. Being calculated is also related to intentionality; taking intentional action based upon the awareness you have of your situation. 

  • Be curious: embrace wonderment, explore new possibilities that you may not have tried before. As an arts leader and educator, I have prioritized helping learners build the skill of curiosity, rooted in the concepts of inquiry based learning and critical exploration. 

  • Be connected: to yourself and others. In this digital age of hyperconnectivity to a device, we often find ourselves disconnected, with little patience. A 2020 research study noted that the brains of teens and young adults do not retain information but rather spend most of their time being distracted away from deep engagement with people and knowledge. As a high school dance teacher, I have found that youth are still craving that connection and can become more engaged through intentional community building and meaningful leadership opportunities. 

  • Be confident: in yourself by giving yourself permission to “fail”. Years ago, I heard the idea about redefining the word “fail” as the acronym for “first attempt in learning”, it has since become one of my favorite concepts. What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail? Creating moments to reflect on learning after experiences can provide opportunities for learners to think about what new information was gained from the experience. 

So, here’s the task at hand: how will you think about your language today? How will you be specific and intentional? How will you build in opportunities for learners (and yourself!) to be calculated, be curious, be connected and be confident?