MODERN MENTORSHIP: Personal Reflections: Systems of support through mentorship 

“Surrounding myself with others has been the best way to figure out what I, alone, can contribute.” — Sarah Burke, “Four people helped me write this essay” (2019) 

As a first-generation college student and daughter of immigrants, I had unconsciously learned to rely on only myself and my immediate family. Anything outside of this close personal network I felt would impose too much of a burden on others. In fact—for a while— doing as much as I could by myself started to become deceptively rewarding. Within academic and professional contexts, I successfully hid any feelings of overwhelm, anxiety, and self-doubt. As you can imagine, this strategy was only sustainable for so long; life inevitably became more complex to navigate on my own. The work was getting done, which provided temporary relief; I had managed to keep my academic scholarship and secure my space at my job, only to be caught in cycles that led to burnout and resentment. 

Why can it be difficult to ask for help? 

As I began to investigate my feelings further, I realized that I had internalized a scarcity mindset and had a deep-rooted fear of my own disposability— both the product and basis of capitalism. Revealing that I needed help would open a portal that would uncover all my inadequacies, shortcomings, and lack of skills that would serve as a catalyst for others to replace me. Coming from a working-class background, I was constantly worried about losing out on opportunities; what would I do next? 

Oppressive forces like the 'imperialist white-supremacist capitalist cis-heteropatriarchy' (bell hooks) create exclusivity, scarcity, and marginalization. However, there also exists a world of people engaging in mutual aid, care, compassion, resistance, and knowledge-building, and sharing. 

Mentorship: What I learned 

I first began to unlearn and intentionally challenge my beliefs around asking for help and support during an internship the summer of my junior year in college. At my internship, I was assigned my first ever professional writing project. I went home that day excited about the possibilities while concurrently worrying about if I would be able to live up to the expectations. I had mentally prepared myself to go through this process alone. 

Yet, it was through the writing process, I learned valuable lessons about collaboration, creative failure, and communication through constructive feedback loops. My supervisors and peers served as mentors to me by creating a safe space to learn, make mistakes, and try new things outside of my comfort zone. I began to understand that seeking support from others was not about inadequacy (like imposter syndrome tries to convince us) but a springboard for new ideas and resources such as time, extra assistance, or even affirmation and empowerment. 

Not only did my mentors serve as sources of knowledge and wisdom, but through their behavior modeled an alternative way of being in the workplace, actively honoring boundaries and teaching me about work-life balance: we are more than what we can produce. 

Supporting and learning from each other  

Mentorship is one way we can support each other. My mentors helped me rediscover my love for writing and storytelling and affirmed my sense of belonging in these spaces. We can provide emotional and material support through mentorship, mutually exchanging knowledge, care, and resources intergenerationally.

 In "Four people helped me write this essay," Brooklyn-based journalist and curator Sarah Burke emphasized the importance of community in cultivating creativity, challenging the narratives of the independent, solitary genius. In the essay, she states: 

“It’s this naive shame and association with softness, perhaps, that’s also at the core of our reluctance to utter that word, community. Being honest and open about our social needs for collaborators, mentors, or even just bodies around you as you work can be key, however, to getting your best work done.”

So how can we create systems of support through mentorship? One way is by building mutual non-hierarchical pathways for giving and receiving. Asking ourselves where in our lives we have the capacity to give (power, resources, knowledge) and being vulnerable enough to receive and ask for support when we need it. Anyone— any age-— can be a mentor (formally or informally); we all have something unique to contribute from our experiences. We are, to some effect, the sum of everything we've learned from others and their support.