REDEFINING ELDERSHIP: Leading while Learning

By Maddie Pivonka

When I think of eldership or those who I would consider to be my elders, my dance professors and teachers are the first people to come to find. They have been my most recent and what I would consider my most influential relationships. Having just graduated from college, I am currently in the process of reflecting on the past four years and what I took away from them. I am almost overwhelmed by the vast amount of information I took in and the opportunities I was a part of. However, one thing I am clear on is the impact my teachers had on me and just how much we all grew through the whirlwind that was my college experience. 

Notice how I said we all grew, versus just myself? In a mentor to mentee relationship, it is usually the one being mentored who is in need of help or guidance. In this case, and I am sure in other similar cases, I would say that both my professors and I were adapting and learning from the situations we found ourselves in. Because of this, I would like to dive deeper into what it means to be a leader and/or mentor who is also learning among their followers. It is a very humbling journey to say the least, and I think it can be beneficial for both the elder and student involved. 

A New Kind of Leadership

Coming in as a freshman, I had no idea of the pandemic or virtual learning to come, but I can’t say it wasn’t an amazing period of growth. Within my school, there were many adaptations that had to be made to accommodate the health concerns that were present. This meant taking half of our classes masked in the studio and the other half through Zoom in our dorm rooms. While this was not ideal for the student or teacher, it was the best we could do to continue learning in this time. 

What is key to this situation is the fact that both the student and teacher had to relearn the process of being in a class. Usually, it is the student who needs to follow a new set of rules, but in this case we were all doing our best to adapt and thrive. My teachers did a wonderful job of keeping an optimistic tone as we entered unknown territory while also being realistic when times got tough. We all knew that the sound may go out during tap because the speakers couldn’t handle us, that it wouldn’t feel as good to dance apart, and that some things weren’t possible in our small dorms, but we persevered and looked to our teachers for guidance through it all. 

Leading By Example

Even as they were learning, they were still leading by example. I think that’s where there may be a misconception around elders alike. Just because you are stepping into a leadership position does not mean you are done learning or making mistakes. It is okay to acknowledge uncertainty and the possibility of being wrong, if anything it teaches humility and ignites empathy in all of us. If I were to put myself in my teachers shoes during that time, I bet they were ten times as nervous as I was. Although I do remember some classes where we were all frustrated, I never for a second saw them as weak or lesser because of the bumps in the road. If anything, I respected them more for showing us what it truly meant to learn from our mistakes and grow.

Taking this analogy outside of the dance room or classroom, I think any person in a relationship similar to a mentor and mentee can find a lot of growth when they even the playing field and learn from each other. In other words, instead of taking part in a one-sided relationship, both could benefit in a mutual way. While that is going on there can also be a level of respect maintained so that they each acknowledge the experiences of the other. I think this balance can be found in any relationship, and it may even prevent an imbalance of power. 

Circling back to my college experience, I started my last year right where I had begun, in the “normal” that existed before Covid (or at least something similar to it). With the Artistic Director stepping down the previous summer and one of my professors stepping into the position, we were once again entering unknown territory surrounding our first fully in-person show since 2020. We were all in for a bumpy but beautiful ride as we tried to put on a show while adjusting to a whole new leadership team. 

Bold With Grace

Our deans had an amazing phrase that described how we were all going to move forward throughout the year, knowing that new things may come with failure and that’s okay. This phrase was “Bold with Grace” which perfectly sums up the balance between taking action and having empathy. This phrase can be applied to eldership because both the student and teacher can try to learn while excusing the others' mistakes. Whether the elder is a dance instructor, academic teacher, parent, mentor, or friend, there is no limit to definition of who can lead others. No matter how old they are or what they have been through, there is always something to take away from that relationship, and there can be even more if they continue to learn. 

As a student, I was able to witness my professors leading while learning, and it is something that has shaped my view of who my elders are and what they do. I am sure one day I will be an elder to someone else, and I hope I can impact others while continuing to grow myself.